Hello, Upper School Families!

It was a joy to see so many of you at the Upper School Back to School Night. The school year feels well underway now that students and their families are walking through the building. I know that I speak for all of the faculty and staff when I say how glad we are to have you part of the Visitation community.

In the midst of this national election season, the Upper School took time to reflect on how we, as educators, can model and teach the principles of civil discourse. Social Studies Department Lead, Christine Bell, led the students through an inspiring lesson about women and the thrills of democracy. I went on to tell our students that we also needed to address the challenges that accompany democracy and the politics that accompany election sessions. These challenges are hard to avoid. Nearly every instance when we turn on the television, scroll through our social media feeds, and listen to the radio, we witness examples of those who are far from civil with one another. There are inflammatory messages, sound bites taken out of context, and blatant untruths. It would seem that people are focused more on what separates us from one another rather than how we might come together. Indeed, we live in a polarizing time. Far too often, it’s this or that. It’s true or false. It’s right or wrong. We get caught in the trap of making assumptions without taking a moment to consider that we might be wrong or that the issue at hand is more complex than we initially anticipated. To recognize this complexity is a skill that we need to develop and that our Catholic faith and Salesian identity call to form in our consciences. I’m so glad that we have teachers at Visitation who thoughtfully cultivate this skill in and beyond the classroom. These are qualities that our students will take with them far beyond their time at Visitation.

In articulating the expectations of school leadership, faculty, and staff regarding how we interact with one another at Visitation, I take inspiration from the WELLS Collective’s norms for civil discourse, which aligns beautifully with our Salesian charge to “Be who you are and be that well.” We have used these norms at Visitation faculty meetings and conferences with other educators. This week, I shared the norms with students, saying:

Be Curious
Take a moment. Stop yourself from making an assumption or quick comment. If someone says something that does not sit well with you, ask for clarification.

Engage Fully
Enter into conversations with both your mind and your heart. You need both. And if you cannot – for whatever reason - bring both your mind and your heart to the conversation, wait, particularly if a classmate wishes to discuss a topic outside the context of the classroom, you have the option to not engage. And what’s more, I expect all of us to respect one another’s boundaries in this regard.

What’s shared here, stays here
Two years ago, the Social Studies Department awarded not one but two medals to seniors who held very different political views. They would enter into lively debates but when those debates were paused, they kept the “fight” where it belonged and never let it take away from their friendship. What’s more, they did not go amongst their other friends, trying to have them take a side.

Expect Non-Closure
You’ll notice that I said that the two seniors would pause their debate rather than end it. Do not enter into conversations - even debates - with the expectation that you are going to convince others to agree with you. Rather, I think it is better to enter into conversations with the expectation that you are going into the conversation with the intention of trying to convince yourself more fully of what you think and believe. The questions raised in our democracy are not easy ones and therefore do not have easy answers. Think critically and creatively, understanding that things are hardly ever tied up in a neat bow.

Listen as if you might be wrong
I am not saying that you are wrong but this norm calls to mind empathy. Imagine how someone might have experiences in their life that have led them to their own conviction. Imagine if you were that person. Can you understand why they think the way they do? Can you understand why they feel the way they do? If you can, it does not compromise your beliefs but it does strengthen your ability to empathize. 

Love is at the center
As you know, this year’s virtue is love. It is only fitting that it remains at the center of all of our encounters, big and small. I also love this idea that love is that which brings and binds us together. Love is at the center. It is neither “left” nor “right.” Rather, it transcends division and reminds us of our shared humanity. 

It is this call to focus on love that serves as the why behind some of the policies in place at Visitation. We don’t allow political stickers, clothing, or other paraphernalia, because we are more interested in engaging in conversations, dialogues, and even spirited debates that align with this call to BE WELL. Posting an image or wearing a slogan has tremendous potential to shut down these conversations before they can even begin. So, BE WELL. Remember Saint Jane de Chantal’s call to abide in love. It is in this way that we can support one another through the election season as well as the entire school year.

Sincerely,

Anna Bachman Barter, PhD
Director of Upper School